PomPom's Blog

Always, Always There

Warnigs

Underage / Suicide Attempt

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Sebaciel

Ciel opened the windows of his study and hefted himself up onto the ledge. From this vantage point he could see Sebastian in the garden. Most likely trying to fix something Finny had destroyed.

He shifted his attention to the ground directly underneath the window, two stories below.

The height of the fall would be too low to kill but just high enough to permanently maim. If he landed at just the right angle, he might crack his skull and bleed to death very slowly. It was a gamble but one thing was for certain: this would not be painless.

Would the demon come to his rescue? He had to have noticed what Ciel was contemplating by now; his posture had shifted visibly, even if he was facing away from the manor.

He was bound by the contract to never betray, but to protect. Protect from what exactly? Surely, not protection from harm. Ciel had been drugged, kidnapped, and beaten on multiple occasions in the past few years and the demon had done nothing to prevent any of it.

As long as it didn’t end his life prematurely, Sebastian was content to stand by and watch. So what if he fell and broke a few ribs? Or a few limbs? Or his spine? As long as it wasn’t fatal, Sebastian had no obligation to save him, it seemed.

Ciel's main concern here was whether this little stunt would make Sebastian's life harder or not. Which was more troublesome for the butler: looking after a demanding, invalid brat or a demanding, able-bodied brat? It was a gamble.

Strange how he had developed a taste for gambling.

With a wicked little grin, Ciel closed his eyes and hopped off the window sill.

A fall from that height was too low to contemplate whether he’d made the stupidest decision of his life, but it was just high enough to wonder if he’d hit solid ground or-

Sturdy arms enveloped him just before the impact. White gloved fingers cradled his head and pressed his nose to a freshly starched and pressed collar. He could feel the butler’s rapid breathing ruffling his hair.

It took Ciel much too long to realize he’d been caught. And with his arms wrapped around Sebastian’s neck with no intention to ever let go, and his heart beating frantically, a little sparrow trapped in a small cage, he realized one more thing.

He was terrified.

Of death, or of Sebastian, he did not entirely know. He did not even know if there were any differences between the two.

But he did know this: from the very beginning, even before jumping, he knew Sebastian would catch him. Of course Sebastian would catch him. Like death, he was the only certainty in Ciel’s life. Like death, he was inescapable, unavoidable. Inevitable. His, and his alone, at the end of the end.

As he resurfaced from the quiet terror of his thoughts, Ciel was surprised to hear Sebastian cursing at him feverishly. While most of it was in a language he did not understand – he couldn’t even be sure if it was a human language – he could decipher some disjointed English in the midst of the tirade. Something about an ‘insolent human brat’ and ‘nearly breaking the bloody contract’.

The absurdity of it had Ciel throwing his head back and laughing the hardest he had laughed in a long, long time. He had managed to anger Sebastian. Enough to have him shouting profanities at his own master. Who was the insolent one here, really?

One glance at Sebastian, who looked genuinely alarmed, was enough to send Ciel into another fit of hysterics. Really, he could kiss him right there!

He could. Rather easily. He was only one breath away.

But the sudden flare in those hellfire eyes had Ciel hopping out of Sebastian’s grasp in a tactical retreat. Facing away from the demon and feeling much warmer than the weather warranted, he brushed himself off and cleared his throat.

“I’m sure the Phantomhive butler has much more pressing matters to attend to.” His voice was steady and sure, despite how weak-kneed and jittery he felt.

“Indeed I do, my lord.” Though he could not see it, he was certain the devil was grinning ear to ear.

And as Ciel began his ascent up the stairs of the manor, he could hear another pair of footsteps following not far behind.