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Equally Diseased

Underage / Dubious Consent / Incest
Cielcest / UndeRciel / One-sided Attraction
Ah, his imagination is running away with him again...

Ciel Phantomhive ruminates on his plans for the future.

Ciel Phantomhive often gets lost in his own thoughts while doing paperwork. Well, can he really be blamed for getting distracted while leafing through stacks upon stacks of ledgers and reports about last year's harvest or some other nonsense? He wonders how his little brother could bear to sit still all day and complete such menial tasks.

Speaking of, it is in fact his little brother that more often than not occupies his wandering thoughts. How could he not be, what with the ruckus he's causing lately? Running around and destroying Ciel's blood collection facilities. Ciel admits he is more proud than he is angry; such a cunning little thing his brother has become! Unfortunately, he will have to get that unpleasant, slimy, perverted-

He will have to get Undertaker to eventually put a stop to his brother's antics. It wouldn't do to suddenly run out of type Sirius blood when they've come this far. Of course, that will not be an issue once he has his twin by his side. Soon, Ciel will have Undertaker eliminate that infernal parasite that's stuck to his brother so stubbornly and the poor little thing will not have to bend to that monstrous creature's will any longer. Not to mention, he will have no one left to turn to; not after the little show Ciel put on just a few weeks ago, ruining the younger's reputation and completely humiliating him in front of all of his allies. Shunned by society as the snivelling little liar, the coward after their predecessor's inheritance, the impostor , he will have nowhere to run but straight into Ciel's arms.

Right where he belongs.

And Ciel will soothe his dear little brother, of course. Run his fingers through silk-soft strands. Rub his back and say 'No, no, it's okay baby brother; you did what you had to. Big brother doesn't blame you at all. Hush now, no more crying, you big silly.' And he will kiss his hair, and his tear soaked cheeks and then he will-

Ah, his imagination is running away with him again. Back to the paperwork…

When Ciel is not occupied with mind numbing paperwork or lengthy blood transfusions, he spends his free time in front of a mirror. The large mirror in his bedroom, the full length one in his closet, the one in the bathroom. He even has a small hand mirror he hides in his desk drawer. If Undertaker has taken any notice, he doesn't comment on it. Which is just as well. Ciel does not know how many unfunny 'Narcissus' quips he can tolerate before he physically harms the old fool…

Either way, he spends quite a lot of time examining his reflection, but not for narcissistic reasons. Is it perverse, he wonders, to look at one's own image and instead see the object of one's affections? Ciel thinks he is quite blessed, really; not everyone has the privilege of gazing upon their beloved whenever they desire. It just so happens that his beloved is his little brother. Is it so unthinkable to be drawn to your other half? Does it make him diseased to long to be whole again? If so, then so be it. He knows his twin is equally afflicted by this disease; after all, they have shared everything for as long as he can remember, from their mother's womb to their facial features. Even after all these years spent apart, they're still identical; that much he confirmed with his own eyes.

Well, except for one minor detail. He covers his right eye-wait, no, his left eye; his image is mirrored after all-and there! His little twin brother staring right back at him! He likes to put on the most pitiful expression he can muster when he does this, as his precious brother looks the sweetest when frightened. His personal favourite is the utter look of terror on the younger's face when he saw Ciel descending the stairs on that one rainy day. He cannot quite replicate it though, no matter how hard he tries. He hopes to see the real thing again soon.

For now, he presses his lips to the mirror and imagines the cold glass to be the warm, plump lips of his baby brother.

At night-time, he feels his mattress dip on one side. Nothing unusual; just Undertaker 'making sure he's feeling well' as he himself puts it. 'Can't have you dying on me now, Earl~' or some other nonsense excuse; he is already dead, remember? Geriatric fool…

Ciel indulges him anyway. What good will it do to chastise the man like an unruly old dog, when this has already become a habit of his? Instead, Ciel imagines the solid weight upon his mattress to be his twin crawling into his bed for a nightly tryst. Never mind the fact that the weight is much too heavy to be his bird-boned and weak little brother. He imagines the nails pushing up his nightgown and raking down his chest are his twin's, he ignores that they're much too long and painted a ghastly black. He imagines that the palm wrapping itself around his half hard length is his twin's, ignores that it's much too large and skilled. Imagines that the solid length forcing itself inside him is his twin's, ignores that it's much too girthy and painful…

Ah, but in the end, the illusion is broken. He cannot keep pretending when the long, silvery strands tickle his face. Or when the glowing yellow-green irises stare at him through the blanket of darkness. When he hears the man's deep grunts or when he is bent nearly in half by strong hands.

So he opts for a different approach. Imagining what possibilities the future holds works wonders when he's trying to take his mind off of things.

He imagines a future where the horrid creature known as 'Sebastian' is no more and his dearest brother is by his side again. Some years have passed and the masses have forgotten their little scandal-and they will; they always do-and his brother can work as a vicar or a doctor just as Ciel has always envisioned. However, his occupation will only be a façade; in reality he will work alongside Ciel to solve cases for the Queen. Yes, Ciel knows that officially he is the Queen's watchdog, but that doesn't mean that his little brother can't lend a helping hand. He has proven himself worthy enough.

Oh, he can already see it. The two of them walking into the billiards room where the rest of the 'Evil Noblemen' await them. Perhaps not hand in hand like he wants to-old man Randall's heart just might give out at such a sight-but shoulder to shoulder, their steps perfectly synchronized. Their father's charismatic and imposing image mirrored two-fold. Like two identical gods walking amongst mere men, striking fear into their enemies' hearts and inspiring awe within their allies. Oh, what a striking picture they'll paint!

Oh, and of course, the intimate part of their relationship will be the most thrilling part of it all! Sure, Ciel will marry Elizabeth to keep up appearances, but really, he will be having secret trysts with his beloved brother behind her back. Perhaps, it could happen after one of their missions. They are basking in the glory of their hard-won victory when Ciel catches sight of his brother dearest, covered from head to toe in the blood of their enemies. Driven to a frenzy by the delicious sight, he pushes the younger to the filthy floor. Tears right through his clothes. Hands and mouth roaming his whole body. Makes his brother whine the same way Ciel himself is definitely not whining right now at the hands of Undertaker...

Yellow-green eyes leering at him make it impossible to stay immersed in his fantasy.

Damn it all! That day will come. The day his twin stops playing this silly game of cat and mouse. The day that filthy hell spawn gets his dirty hands off of his precious brother. The day Undertaker stops slamming into him so incessantly-

The day Undertaker puts an end to all of this.

Until then, all Ciel can do is imagine.

Published: 2022-04-04